Review #6: The Tale of The Midnight Ride

Ladies and Gentlemen, your youtube links:

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VZEO3RM0po

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKx7z7M2a38

Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ft7S3TJy_c

Alas, we’ve got no opening credits for this episode, instead we begin immediately on a solemn Gary discussing how “friends come and friends go.”  Midnight Society members Kristen and David’s families have both moved, so that frees up two spots in the society.  Looking at yesterday’s episode, it’s fair to say David must be completely distraught, being that he was having a whiny breakdown over having to move across town.  Remember David, down the road, not across the street.

Gary apparently takes this sort of thing very seriously, as he appears to be treating it like a funeral and he’s decked out in a full suit.  Betty Anne’s friend Sam is looking to join, but needs more time to prepare her story, but I bet she’ll be ready tomorrow.  Instead, tonight Gary has brought a new member to initiate.

Or a terrorist to interrogate.

Oh dear, it turns out it’s his little brother, Tucker.

One day I'll grow up to be in Mean Girls!

The rest of the Society is completely opposed, with Frank claiming they aren’t babysitters and that members have to tell stories.  Tucker calls them all scabs, perhaps hinting that the real Midnight Society is on strike?  Will labor union humor go over well?  The answer to both of these questions is no.

Anyways, we learn that if Gary doesn’t start taking Tucker to meetings, he’ll no longer be allowed to attend.  So basically, Tucker is in by default.  Nepotism is alive and well on Nickelodeon.  But they’ll make him tell a story anyways.  Gary tosses some corn starch on the fire and Tucker begins.  Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Socitey, which he totally doesn’t need, he calls this story…

Oooo this must be about zombie Paul Revere!  One if by land, two if by…braaaaaains!

Huh, apparently it’s about Sleepy Hollow.  Perhaps it should be called The Tale of the Misleading Title.

We begin with Tucker giving us a rundown of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and that’s just screams time filler.  Ichabod Crane, Headless Horseman, can’t cross a bridge, Ichabod goes down the wrong path, yada yada yada.  Apparently every Halloween their ghosts return to Sleepy Hollow and ride again.

Meet Ian Matthews, the new kid in Sleepy Hallow, will his casual vest fashion trend catch on in his new town?  Stay tuned to find out.

Ian meets Katie, who’s preparing to set up for the school’s Halloween dance, and he politely offers to help.  He’s then a complete douche to a guy who accidentally knocked some stuff out of Katie’s hands.  That guy is Brad, who’s allegedly Katie’s ex-boyfriend.  I say allegedly because Brad certainly doesn’t see it that way, claiming that he’ll say when they don’t go out anymore.  That’s right damn it, it’s Brad’s way or no way.  Ian drops a pumpkin decoration on his head and Brad tells him to stay away from Katie, unless he wants to walk around toothless.

Brad must be a dentist.

Ian doesn’t heed this warning however and still shows up at the dance, quickly finding Katie.  They’re both dressed as Ichabod Crane, which has to be awkward, but they’re both too stubborn to change.  Ian soon finds Brad, dressed as a pirate, cornering Katie.

I'm glad neither went with the Sexy Ichabod Crane costume.

Ian interrupts and it looks like we’ll get an answer to the age old question: Who would win in a fight, a pirate or Ichabod Crane?  I’m going with the pirate, though if it were Ickybod Clay, I’d side with him.

Clayfighter, represent.

Brad gives Ian a choice, he can go into the woods and retrieve the Headless Horseman’s pumpkin, or he can fight him.  He chooses the sissy way out and goes to get the pumpkin, depriving us the chance to see him get his ass kicked.  I’ll never forgive him for this.

Yarr! Captain Brad don't take kindly to land lubbers canoodlin' with his scurvy wench!

Ian ventures off into the woods in search of the pumpkin, which he finds on the bridge.  After he retrieves it, he turns around and comes face to face with The Headless Horseman and perhaps my prayers for Ian’s demise will be answered!

Please, please, please

Ian runs away and falls down crying “don’t take my head!”, only to have the Horseman be revealed as Brad.  Everyone laughs at Ian, as they should.  If he had paid attention to the story, he’d know the Horseman couldn’t cross the bridge, so he couldn’t be on it to attack him in the first place, duh!  Instead, he’s the new laughing stock of the school.  Please take a moment to join his classmates in laughing at him.

Hardy har har!

Katie, showing terrible taste in men, decides to stay with Ian, while all the cool kids leave.  Be sure to take a moment to laugh at her too, she brought this on herself.  As Katie and Ian walk home, they run into a man on a horse, asking for directions to the bridge.  Being polite, they direct him to the bridge and he introduces himself as Ichabod Crane, the new school master.  Apparently it’s a popular costume this year.

He kind of looks like Chris Kattan.

Ichabod disappears and Katie and Ian, being really on the ball, think nothing of it.  Back at Katie’s house they awkwardly discuss how happy they are that they met, before Ian runs off to get his bike that he left at the school.  Katie follows because he forgot his jacket, and they begin to get harassed by The Headless Horseman again.  Though this time he can magically come out of walls, so unless Brad’s father is Criss Angel, they might be in trouble.

MIIIIINDFREAK!

Ian and Katie run and the Horseman gives chase, casually tossing aside his pumpkin head. It must make him less aerodynamic.  Ian figures out that in telling Ichabod the correct way to get to the bridge, they’ve changed the legend and now the Headless Horseman is after them.  Or he’s just really full of himself, thinking he’s part of a legend.  Katie and Ian think they’re clever and head back into the woods.  The Horseman of course follows them, because that was a stupid plan to begin with.

He'll never find us in that place he came from!

They get cornered and Katie, proving to be the man in the relationship, provides a distraction for Ian, who leaves her behind and runs for the bridge.  Brad wouldn’t have done that.  Katie trips and falls and Ian’s balls drop and he comes back to save her, drawing the horseman’s attention to him.  Ian runs for the bridge and of course we’re teased with the idea that maybe he won’t make him and the Horseman will chop off his head and everyone will live happily ever after.  Of course that doesn’t happen, and it was very mean to get our hopes up like that.  Instead Ian makes it to the bridge and the Horsemen fades away in a blast of fire.

Those are my dreams going up in flames.

They run into Ichabod Crane again, who’s somehow lost his way, despite the fact that he was looking for the bridge, which they’re all standing on while they speak.  And this guy is a school master?  Crane thinks it’s best if he turns goes back and takes a different path, the wrong one, you know, the one that he originally took that ended up getting him killed?  Katie and Ian think this is a great idea and encourage him to do it.  Wow, dicks.

Look kids, two horse's asses.

The End


Tucker is of course officially declared a member of the Midnight Society, and will eventually go on to lead a new Midnight Society for two seasons that I probably won’t be covering unless there’s some demand for it.

The Tale of the Midnight Ride is one of the few episodes to take place on Halloween, the other, better one, will be reviewed closer to the 31st.  I like the story and the setting, and I feel like it conveys the Halloween mood very well.  However, for some reason I find Ian incredibly annoying and spend the episode actively rooting for bad things to happen to him, if you didn’t notice.  Also, what the hell is up with the ending?  They freed Ichabod’s ghost, but because that causes a slight inconvience for them, they decide to trap his spirit again?  Just because the Horseman will come after them every Halloween, they have to once again damn Ichabod to an eternity of being chased and murdered by him?  How selfish can you get?  I hope Brad kicks his ass when they get back into town.

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One thought on “Review #6: The Tale of The Midnight Ride

  1. Pingback: Are You Afraid of the Dark? Review Index « My Rotting Brain

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