Review #13: The Tale of The Frozen Ghost

This one’s an early wedding present for Glenn and Johnna, congrats.


Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:


Looks like it’s a hot summer night for the ol’ Midnight Society, and yet like the troopers they are, they’re still outside sitting around a fire.  David suggests they rename the group the Heatwave Society, and that they tell stories about his uncle’s pool.  I bet no one misses him once he moves away.

Haha, get it? Heatwave Society! Cause it's hot out!

Kristen seems unphased by the heat, and promises her story is going to chill everyone out.  I hope she’s just going to recite the plot to Cool Runnings, that would be awesome.  My hopes are dashed however, as she tosses some rock salt on the fire and begins.  Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society, she calls this story…

We meet Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, a whiny rich kid who’s heading off to stay with his aunts for the weekend.  For some reason, his babysitter is going with him.  It should also be noted that this story is set during a very cold winter.  I mention that because otherwise this picture of Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, would look strange.

And yes, it’s the project’s first celebrity guest appearance!  Clarissa’s explaining it all in Are You Afraid of the Dark? Sabrina the Teenage Witch is here to save the day.  I think she’s in some shitty show with Joey Lawrence now on ABC Family.  Yes, it’s Melissa Joan Hart, who was the first big guest star of in the series.  I suppose big is a relative term here, it was huge at the time, I assure you.  Her character’s name in this episode is Daphne, but the chances of me calling her Sabrina or Clarissa are instead are incredibly high.

Oh don't give me that look.

They arrive at the aunts’ house and Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, quickly acts like a little bitch because it doesn’t appear that anyone is home.  CPS3 as I’ll tend to call him in this review, acts this way a lot, so if you’re watching the episode, be prepared.

It turns out the Aunts are at home, they’re just experiencing a blackout.  Soon they’re showing Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, when one of them mentions being a good host and the other responds as if she said the word ghost.

Later, Sabrina and CPS3 are discussing his aunts, but this only leads to CPS3 being an annoying spoiled rich kid and Clarissa leaving to prepare his bath.  As soon as she leaves  however, Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, thinks he hears a voice, but Clarissa dismisses it as just the wind.


Next we learn that the Aunts are without power because they haven’t paid their electric bill in three months.  When Sabrina suggests they ask to borrow money from Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third’s family, they tell her the story of a great falling out between their father and CPS3’s dad, CPS2.

CPS3’s dad hired a known criminal to work on the family farm, and the aunt’s father was none to pleased when he found out.  Eventually the police tracked the criminal down and hauled him off to prison on a train, which later crashed, killing everyone on board.

It's a joyful tale.

This leads to a dinner time discussion in which the word ghost is uttered approximately 1000 times in the span of 3 minutes.  It is in fact Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third’s only line in the scene.

Ghost? Yes, fucking ghost! That's what they are saying! God!

CPS3 ends up having a nightmare in which he envisions the bank robber chasing him.  He wakes up and his window flies open, he looks outside and sees the ghost of a young boy, who keeps repeating the phrase “I’m cold”

You're cold? I'm Mike, how ya doin?

CPS3 of course freaks out like a little girl and we get a small sequence of him moving in hyper speed, before he runs into Sabrina’s room and crawls in bed with her.  This of course only upsets her and she orders him to go back to bed.

If this were another show I'd turn you into a newt, or have Sam kick your ass. Hi Sam. *Whammy bar sound*

The next morning, the Aunts tell the story of the ghost.  It’s apparently the ghost of a young boy who lived on a neighboring farm and went missing, only to be found a few days later in a woodshed, frozen to death.  Well, I guess that explains why he’s cold.  Then the aunt’s woodstove has goes out, so Clarissa and CPS3 head outside to chop some wood.  If she cared about us, she’s just chop of Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, instead.  She does call him a wuss and a freak and then throws mud on him and makes him cry, so it’s not a total loss.

You tease.

They hear the ghost again saying that he’s cold…we get it already…and Sabrina goes off in search of him.  Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, whines for a bit and then notices footprints coming towards them.  He turns to run, but ends up face to face with the ghost.  And what does the ghost have to say for himself?  “I’m cold”

You're also one dimensional.

CPS3 turns tail and runs into the woods screaming for Clarissa.  Instead, he again runs right into the ghost, who replies “I’m cold” Well buy a fucking jacket already.

Alright now fellas, what's cooler than being cool? I'm cold!

Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, runs away again, falls into a puddle of mud and finally finds Sabrina.  They then see the ghost again, and this time he actually shuts the fuck up and does something useful, pointing at a log.

It's log, it's log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good.

CPS3 recognizes the log as one from his dream, and reaches inside.  He pulls out a jacket, out of which falls a key, but no one is concerned with that.  He gives the jacket to the ghost, who puts it on and stops looking like a ghost.  I really don’t see how much warmer a windbreaker would have made him, but whatever.

I'm...slightly less cold.

Turns out that key belonged to the woodstove’s pipe, and upon opening it, gold coins spill out.  Because apparently that’s where the criminal hid them before the little boy saw him and he chased him off.  And because apparently this family was rich in pirate treasure or something.

The End

And that’s the Tale of the Frozen Ghost.  A scary episode?  Not really, I remember being a little freaked out by the ghost when I was younger though.  It’s a memorable episode because the ghost only says one fucking thing, over and over and over.  Charles Pemberton Schilling, the third, is quite annoying, but the rest of the cast does a solid job.  I still have no idea why there were thousands of gold coins in the stovepipe, I’m pretty sure at the time the criminal was working at the farm, people would be using paper money.  Daphne makes references to video games, so the story has to be set close to present day, which at that time would be 1993.  Damn you plot holes.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go shut the window.  I’m cold.






4 thoughts on “Review #13: The Tale of The Frozen Ghost

  1. Pingback: Are You Afraid of the Dark? Review Index « My Rotting Brain

  2. Pingback: AYAOTD Review: The Tale of The Chameleons « My Rotting Brain

  3. Do you know the name of an episode of AYAOTD, all i remember is two teens or kids are in a house running from a man in a mask and also another one takes place in some kind of abandoned factory, but that’s all the plot that i remembers, sorry

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