Review #23: The Tale of Cutter’s Treasure

Here be the links

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

There were two “events” in Are You Afraid of the Dark? history.  Events here means stories that spanned more than one episode.  The second one was The Tale of the Silver Sight, which involved Midnight Society 2.0 and a mystery about Gary and Tucker’s grandfather.  It was a three part episode that was set entirely in the real world.  The other event was a two part episode with a story told by both Frank and Gary that involved magic and pirates.  Guess which one I picked to review?

Our episode begins with Gary discussing the different types of stories each of the members of the Midnight Society tell.  It’s one of those cool moment for a show dork like  me.  Frank and Gary have combined to come up with a story so amazing that it needs two people to tell it.  So they cozy up together on the Storyteller’s Chair and get things started.


Frank would definitely be the big spoon.


Gary tosses some allspice on the fire and they begin.  Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society, they call this story…

We begin with a pirate named Ian, sneaking up on his Captain, ready to stab him in the back.


It's this kind of treachery that makes people hesitant to trust pirates.


Ian is however, terrible at being stealthy and says something about how he’s doing this for the souls of all who fell before the Captain’s sword, and he says it pretty loud.  The fact that the captain didn’t turn around at this should have tipped him off, but once he spins the Captain’s chair around, he finds only a skeleton.



One Eyed Willy!? Oh man, is Corey Feldman here too?


That’s because the real Captain is sitting in the shadows watching him.  And also eating a loaf of bread.


I can't believe it's not Cutter! Ladies and Gentleman, the worst joke of the project.


We learn the Captain’s name is Jonas Cutter, and he’s rather protective of his treasure.  Ian places a curse upon him, but it doesn’t do him much good as Cutter soon kills him.  Prior to this, a small child snuck into the room and stole Ian’s dagger, that will probably be important later.

We cut back to modern times where two boys are playing as pirates.  How delightfully coincidental!

The one in the ridiculous shirt is Max Keegan.  He soon overhears his brother Rush, and peeks through the pushes to find him totally macking it with a hot babe.


His parents must have been big fans of the band Rush.


Before he can seal the deal though, Max turns on the sprinklers and soaks his brother and his girl.


He was hoping she'd get wet...just not like that.


The girl storms off and Rush is pissed.  She didn’t have a sense of humor man, it’s no big loss.  But Rush chases down his brother anyways, but before he can pound him, he’s interrupted by their parents.  In a plot device that always works out wonderfully, the parents are leaving for a vacation.  They leave Max and Rush a check to give to their babysitter, and neither are happy.  According to Max, the babysitter smells like fish.

The babysitter arrives, but the boys have come up with an ingenious plan.  Pretending to be their father, Rush tells the babysitter that the boys have measles and they’ve decided to stay home, but they’ll still pay her for her troubles.  I should mention, this is all done through a mail slot.

The babysitter leaves, because she’s either both terribly gullible and stupid, or really doesn’t care about the kids and just wants to be paid.  I’m going to go with the latter, though that may just be me thinking of what kind of babysitter I’d be.

Max and Rush are way too excited to be all alone for the weekend.  Max thinks he and Rush are going to have grand adventures, but Rush only cares about getting some.  Max threatens to tell their parents if he ignores him, but Rush still refuses to hang out with him.  Max gives up and instead agrees to leave Rush alone all weekend if he buys him a magic set.  Max is terribly at extortion.  Hey, check out the ad for the magic set…

Yes indeed it’s off to Sardo’s Magic Shop!  And that’s Sardo, no mister, accent on the d’oh!  Rush buys Shandu’s Magic Set for Max.  Some useless information for you, Shandu is the name of a magician in another episode that I won’t be reviewing.


Unrelated to this screen cap, but Shandu's magic words were "Shandu Can Do!" Just in case you were wondering why I'm skipping it.


Sardo’s got a treasure chest on display in his store, with a sign that says anyone who opens it wins a prize.  Sardo can’t open, despite trying with a hammer and chisel.  Rush is strangely drawn to the chest, and attempts to open it.  He’s amazed that he’s able to do it effortlessly on his first try.  By the way, his amazed face looks like this:

Sardo is thrilled he opened the chest, because the man who sold it to him promised to give him $5000 if anyone could open it.  Rush’s prize for opening however, is just the contents of the chest, which turns out to be an old dagger, a key and a spyglass.

Back at home, Rush gives the spyglass to Max, who insists it isn’t broken.  Rush doesn’t give a shit however, because he’s only got one thing on his mind, and she happens to be at the front door.



Bet she can't wait to walk his plank.


Meanwhile, upstairs Max is playing with his magic set when the spyglass suddenly starts spinning around on it’s own.  He of course decides to show Rush, who is just beginning to work his game again.  His game consists of saying “I don’t suppose we could make out?”  Stop stealing my lines, you little bastard.  Rush still insists the spyglass is broken, and sends Max away.  As soon as he gets back to his room however, the spyglass starts moving again, this time rolling of his desk and onto the floor.  Max bends down to pick it up, but he’s grabbed by someone hiding underneath his bed.


Most people keep their skeletons in the closet.


Max screams and screams for Rush to help him, and of course as soon as Rush arrives, Max is fine.  Rush heads back downstairs to find that his hot piece of ass has left.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Rush wears bright orange shirts and boat shoes, I don’t know.  This prompts Rush to tell Max that he hates him and wants him out of his life.

Rush later has a nightmare that he’s in a cemetery.  It’s a nightmare for me because he’s still got on his terrible outfit from earlier.  He encounters the ghost of Ian from the beginning of the episode, who tells him “What he wants is not what he desires” before he disappears.


Ian Keegan: Treacherous in life, unhelpfully vague in death


This is followed by a mausoleum opening  and Jonas Cutter stepping out and asking if Rush is a match for him.  Looks like Rush will be getting lucky after all.  The other joke I had for this moment involved the term “butt pirate” but I choose to keep it classy.  Anyways, Rush wakes up and decides to look in the spyglass once again.  This time, he’s able to see what appears to be the same graveyard from his dream.  He continues to look into it and he sees himself, just as he appeared in the dream.


Oh good, now he can see what a jackass he looked like.


Rush returns to Sardo’s store and leaves the spyglass, and Sardo isn’t too happy.  The man who sold him the chest is there as well, and though we don’t see him, he sure sounds familiar.  The man says that the items in the chest belong to Rush now and that soon he’ll be back to get them, and he instructs Sardo to send Rush to him once he does return.  Then he’ll get his money.

Meanwhile, Max is wandering outside, drawn to the beach behind the house.  When Rush returns home, he can’t find Max.  He shouldn’t worry though, as someone left him a note.


Oh, he should actually be worried more after that.


Max hasn’t gotten far though, he actually hasn’t gone anywhere and Rush finds him in a trance staring at the water.  A man in a rowboat shows up, and when Rush goes to investigate, it turns out to be just a skeleton.

But then it turns into this guy, who says he’s here for the boy.


Yeah...I prefer to look at the skeleton.


They run back inside, only to come face to face with Jonas Cutter.


You've heard of Blackbeard, now meet Blackeverything.


Cutter rambles on about how Rush is just a young pup and calls him skipper a lot, before he takes Max and disappears.  Max seems comfortably indifferent about the whole thing.


Meh, I was bored here anyways.


Rush runs back to the water, just in time to see Cutter and Max row off into the fog and disappear.

Here we cut back to The Midnight Society, and as Frank and Gary are about to continue, it starts to pour.  They all scamper off, and we’re left with this…

Argh! We’re left with so many questions!  What happens to Max? Who’s the mystery man Sardo was talking to? What’s their connection with Jonas Cutter? Will Rush ever stop dressing like a jackass?  Will Rush ever get laid?  What was the name of the head coach of Team Iceland in Mighty Ducks 2!?

For the answers to the first three questions, check back tomorrow for the review of Part 2.

As for the last three questions:

1. No.

2. Ha, of course not.

3. Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson

See you tomorrow


One thought on “Review #23: The Tale of Cutter’s Treasure

  1. Pingback: Are You Afraid of the Dark? Review Index « My Rotting Brain

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