Alright, my big surprise was going to be an interview with Frank from Are You Afraid of the Dark? but it’s been a few weeks since I sent him the questions and he’s yet to respond back.
I’ve been a terrible blogger, and for that I am sorry. Luckily, Christmas is coming and that gives me plenty of things to write about and mercilessly ridicule, happy days are on the horizon.
Since I feel so guilty, here’s a short piece about music I hate that probably makes me seem out of touch and grumpy. Damn kids with their music and baggy pants.
So, at my job I am unfortunately unable to choose what music I have to listen to and am instead forced to suffer through some generic pop music station. Now, it’s not without it’s charms. I’ve heard Green Day, The Wallflowers, Pearl Jam and Everclear on the station in recent weeks, but music by those bands are squeezed into large blocks of the newest pop music. And also an odd amount of Ace of Bass. Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that by and large, I despise today’s popular music, and here’s the songs I hate the most!
1. Mike Posner “Cooler Than Me”
Duke University graduate, Mike Posner laments over how he can’t land a girl, because she thinks she’s cooler than him. Further examination of the lyrics reveal this girl is apparently today’s stereotypical club going socialite wannabe. She probably doesn’t think she’s cooler than you Mike, she just thinks she’s better than you. But don’t worry, I’m sure she’s attracted to you now that your song is on the radio. I had the unfortunate experience of seeing Mike Posner on Warped Tour over the summer, because he totally belongs on that tour. Anyways, his wooden delivery of lyrics and lack of showmanship has lead me to one conclusion: Mike Posner, I know I’m cooler than you.
2. Paramore “The Only Exception”
Now, first of all, I like Paramore. I’ve seen them live twice. But I fucking despise this song. Why? Repetition. This is no exaggeration, I’ve been at my current job since July and only 5 days have gone by that I have not heard this song. I cannot escape it. I am convinced this is the only song that will be on the radio in hell. Also of note, the music video features a brief appearance by someone I went to high school with. He used to be fat and one of my other friends once drunkenly threw a bottle at his head because when they were younger the fat kid had refused to hang out with him because his mother was paying her taxes.
3. Enrique Iglesias “I Like It”
Enrique’s auto-tuned ode to Jersey Shore-esque fist pumping douchebags who think they’re god’s gift to women. Enrique tells a captivating story about how he wants to get some girls in the sack because their boyfriends are on vacation and his girlfriend isn’t home. Infidelity is always classy. The video is priceless however, as it features the 35 year old Enrique sporting a Justin Bieber haircut and grinding up on girls who look like they might barely be 21. Bailamos Enrique! What have you become?
4. Any Nickelback Song
I’m not evil enough to link you to anything involving Chad Kroger. I don’t think this one needs any explanation.
My next post will come this weekend and will be much longer than this. It’ll be a review of some kind. Remember when I used to do those all the time? It’ll be just like that, except not Are You Afraid of the Dark.