Freddy Krueger, Please Swear Better

I was going to title this article “One word ruined A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 for me” but that wouldn’t be accurate.  The film was always ruined for me, because it’s a terrible movie.  Now, it’s not terrible to the point of being “Hellraiser 2” bad, but that’s because no movie is worse than that.  A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 is close though, and it’s by far the worst film in the franchise, and that includes the remake where Freddy looks like a burned cat.

Why is it so bad?  Well there are certainly several reasons you could pick from: Horrible story, awful acting, lack of sense.  But for me, it comes down to one single word.  That word?  Fucker.  Here’s a link so you can get an idea of exactly what I’m talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L1mrt_EzaE

This is near the “thrilling” conclusion of the film.  All you need to know is that up until this point, Freddy has been harassing/possessing a kid named Jesse, who moved into the home from the original film.  Freddy has decided he wants to wreak havoc in the real world, so he needs someone to get him there.  Since he can’t find anyone to stupidly pull him through, he decides to just burst out of Jesse’s chest, Alien style.  He chooses to do this at a pool party, probably because Freddy has no concern for Jesse’s social life; he’s a dick like that.  And so begins our scene.

Freddy quite literally bursts onto the scene, popping up from underneath the deck and scaring the crap out of everyone.  It’s a frenzy of screams and short shorts, as everyone runs to get away from the crazy sweater wearing man who just exploded out of a deck.  While this is happening, Freddy amuses himself by destroying some property and making a mess.  Oh Freddy, you cur!

Because fuck those flowers! That's why!

He also gets around to more typical Freddy activities like slashing a guy,

This is what back talk gets you.

Keeping people from escaping, in this case by super heating a fence

Oh 1980's special effects, how I do love you.

And of course making fire explode from every conceivable area, including the pool itself.

Or maybe Michael Bay is filming next door.

 

At about the 50 second mark of the video, you can see him throw a plastic deck chair, probably because he doesn’t approve of the overall décor.  Don’t think Freddy is going soft though, a few seconds later he’s impaling someone on his glove.

You know, as the franchise went on, kills like this happened less and less.

And then it begins.  Go to the 1:05 mark of the video and watch as the movie is ruined for me forever.   The terrified partygoers are all cowering in a corner, at the mercy of Mr. Krueger, when one of them decides to speak up.  He tries to calm Freddy down, letting him know that no one is going to hurt him, and that they’re there to help him.  Yes, because clearly this little outburst of his happened only because he was worried they were going to hurt him.  That seems rational.  Anyways, Freddy’s response to their offer for help?

“Help yourself…Fucker”

 

Yep, movie ruined.

Now, you have to remind yourself that at this point in the franchise, Freddy hadn’t evolved (devolved?) into the wisecracking slasher he’s now famous for being.  No, at this point in his career, he was the embodiment of nightmares, a child murderer turned evil demon who wants nothing more than to brutally murder you.  He is not, at this point, the kind of character who should be gleefully attaching “fucker” on to the end of sentences, especially when he hadn’t shown much of an interest in swearing at all in two films.

The whole situation is made worse by the context it’s in.  I assume the “fucker” is tacked on to make the whole thing seem more intimidating, but it absolutely doesn’t come off that way.  This is a guy who just magically lit a bunch of shit on fire, made the whole goddamn pool boil and oh yeah, he killed two people with his glove tipped with fucking knives!  I’m going to go ahead and say he’s intimidating enough at that point; he doesn’t need to used “fucker” to hammer it home.

Even ignoring all that, if they were dead set on making him swear, they could have at least picked a better one.  I’m fairly certain “fucker” is about the most ridiculous derivative of fuck that you can call someone.  Even “mother fucker” would have been better!  But just “fucker”?  After he said that, I half expected to see him followed by a crew of dimwitted jocks who could respond with “Duhahah, good one Freddy” The only thing I can think of that would be comparatively ridiculous, without venturing into intentionally lame terms (butthorn!) would be “bitches” and then he’d just end up sounding ghetto.  Might I add, thankfully New Line was smart enough to shelve the franchise before it degraded to that point, which is more than I can say for other films.

 

Am I overanalyzing this?  Certainly.  But this was an 80’s slasher flick, it’s not like the formula wasn’t already written.  Those movies knew when to be scary, and when to be funny.  The “Fucker” just sticks out like a sore thumb, because it just doesn’t fit.  That scene is aiming to hard to be tense and scary for the “Fucker” to be thrown in as a joke, and Freddy hadn’t yet begun his career as an insult comic, so it doesn’t fit with his character either.

And that’s how “Fucker” ruined A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 for me.

Though the sucking didn’t help matters.

 

 

 

See?  This is why it’s called My Rotting Brain.

Now go become a fan me of Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Rotting-Brain/208884255794920 I want to get  25 fans, and 40 people viewed the site yesterday, so someone is not pulling their weight!

Also, follow me on twitter @myrottingbrain

I think for some reason people don’t take me seriously when I invite them to be on my podcast.  So go forth, loyal readers, and strengthen my social media presence!

 

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7 thoughts on “Freddy Krueger, Please Swear Better

  1. I can’t help but completely disagree. “Fucker” is raw. If he had said “mother fucker” it would have been too smooth. And like you said, “bitches” would have just sounded ghetto. I honestly thought that was the best part of the movie. Of all the things to ruin Freddy 2 don’t you think it would have been when Jesse’s dancing to the 80’s pop and his girlfriend walks in? Wait, that was hilarious… 😉

    • You’re missing the point, he doesn’t need to swear, and hadn’t been doing it in the previous film. It was clunky and strange, the verbal equivalent of him awkwardly throwing plastic furniture around. I do appreciate the comment though, thanks for reading.

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  6. This is my favorite quote in the entire series. I thought it showed how consumed he was with killing. This rant is the antithesis of my enjoyment of Elm Street.

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