A Guide to Winning at Guess Who, Part 2

I’m going through the characters featured in the classic board game “Guess Who?”  and telling you the right questions to ask to achieve victory.  You can view Part 1 here


1. Is your character the police officer local teens mock and harass?

2. Could your character’s life story be made into a film starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman, about a pudgy cop who is struggling  to come to terms with his homosexuality?


1. Is your character a 1950’s LAPD detective who has recently had his spirit crushed by the string of gruesome, senseless murders he has to investigate?

2. Is your character a newspaper reporter, depressed over the death of his chosen career path?


1.  Does your character look like awful 1960’s era Batman villain Egghead, if he let himself go?

2.  Is your character a fat Conehead?


1.  Is your character a transsexual?

2.  Is your character more collagen than human at this point in their life?


1. Is your character a former hippie who developed a Messiah complex and started a murderous cult?

2. Seriously, should I be alerting the police about his presence here?


1. Is your character a soviet arms dealer?

2. In Soviet Russia, does character guess you?


1. Is your character the wacky neighbor on a 1990’s sitcom?

2. Is your character the lovechild of Larry and Curly from The Three Stooges?


1. Is your character dating their uncle?

2. Does your character do porn?


1. Did your character take their love of Michael Jackson to frightening extremes and attempt to duplicate his nose job?

2. Is your character from alternate universe where everyone is hideous, as seen on the Twilight Zone episode “The Eye of the Beholder”?


1. Does your character look like the guy who lives across the street from me?

2. Because that guy is also named Tom, isn’t that really fucking weird?  It’s creeping me out.


1. Does your character spend all their time in their garden because they can no longer stand their spouse, but are too proud to get a divorce?

2. Is your character a big fan of “Murder, She Wrote”?


1. If they were on an early 90’s teen sitcom, would your character play the stereotypical nerdy kid?

2. If they were in a band in the 1980’s, would your character play the keytar?

I hope you’ll use this newfound knowledge to accumulate several impressive victories at Guess Who.  Assuming you own a copy of the game that uses these characters and still actively play it.  Hmm, may have misjudged the size of this article’s target audience.

If you’ve got any character specific questions you’d like to add, feel free to leave a comment.


3 thoughts on “A Guide to Winning at Guess Who, Part 2

  1. Tom (alternative):

    3. Did your character make a small fortune investing early in Yahoo! and use the proceeds to buy the best mail-order Asian bride that money could buy?

    4. Does your character’s tie curve up every time your character gets an erection?

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