I’m back for round 2, I hope you’re ready for more absurd clown related activities. If you missed Part 1 and are too lazy to scroll down, you can find it Here.
-We return to find that Deb, Officer Dave and Mike have pulled over on the side of the road, and Deb informs Officer Dave that she needs to speak to Mike alone. Mike stares vacantly into space while this is transpiring.
-Mike confesses that he’s worried Officer Dave is going to take him somewhere secluded and shoot him. If only we were so lucky.
-Meanwhile, Prescott and a new friend apparently think they’re in England and are busily looting a store. I’m going to call this little fella Buckingham because of that. Ah topical humor. Attention people reading this in 5 years, at the time I was writing this, England was having serious issues with rioting and looting. Trust me, it was funny at the time. (I’m lying)
Bollock mate! Pip, pip, cheerio.
-We cut back to Mike and Officer Dave, who have traveled into the hills to find the circus tent. Of course, it’s not longer there. There is a massive hole in the ground where it used to be, but Officer Dave totally doesn’t give a shit and arrests Mike.
Holes are evidence of nothing, jerkwad!
-Back in town, Buckingham is making friends with a group of motorcycle enthusiasts.
Pretty much the definition of ridin' dirty right there.
-Of course every group has a bully, and Buckingham soon meets him. Buckingham’s sweet ride is soon destroyed, and in a fit of rage, he jumps high into the air and returns wearing boxing gloves. Shit is on now.
Have at thee, rapscallion!
-Buckingham proceeds to go all Mike Tyson on the guy’s ass and knocks his head off. Literally.
Down goes Fraizer! Down goes Fraizer!
-Elsewhere, Smilin’ Pete attempts to abduct a child.
See, now this is more along the lines of what I expect clowns to be doing.
-Officer Dave takes Mike up to Lover’s Lane for some reason, but finds it to me deserted, aside from a slew of abandoned cars. One in particular catches Dave’s eye, as it appears to be filled with cotton candy.
Or Kirby got lucky.
-It’s enough to convince Officer Dave that Mike was telling the truth about the whole killer clowns thing, and the two of them set off to warn everyone else.
-At the same time, Officer Mooney is getting overwhelmed by calls reporting clown related crimes. Most notable would be the one from the owner of the store Prescott was looting. It appears Prescott is ready to check out, but the store owner considers this a problem. This is obviously racism; just don’t ask me to go into more detail about why.
Yo, a clown can't buy a few hats and some Bugs Bunny vitamins in this place? That's messed up son.
-Later, we see another new clown randomly roll up on a some guy and try and run him off the road. The kicker here is, the clown isn’t driving a car, he’s just sort of…floating there. We’ll call this one Floyd, which is an incredibly obscure reference to an episode of Smart Guy.
If you rearrange the letters in your name, it spells Flody! Flody, Flody, Flody!
-In case you’re wondering, Floyd is successful in running the poor schmuck off the road. As is tradition, his car bursts into flames, which Floyd finds hilarious.
-His abduction attempt thwarted, Smilin’ Pete throws some popcorn in a dumpster, which then causes the dumpster to eat random passerby throwing out some garbage.
-Meanwhile, fresh off his vehicular homicide, Floyd decides to entertain some people waiting at a bus stop with a shadow puppet show.
Well, at least it's better than Criss Angel.
-Officer Dave and Mike show up just in time to catch the show’s grand finale, where Floyd makes dinosaur shadow puppet that devours the audience.
Floyd doesn't get a lot of repeat viewers.
-This is apparently enough to get Dave’s attention, unfortunately, their attempt to run down Floyd is foiled when he simply leaps into the air and disappears. Dave tries to tell Mooney that the clown thread is real, but he is quickly ignored.
-Dave and Mike split up, with Dave going back to the station and Mike chasing down his idiot Ice Cream truck driving friends.
-Meanwhile, back at the station, Smilin’ Pete pays Officer Mooney a visit.
-Things go about as you’d expect. Mooney plays bad cop, herds Pete into a cell, and then Pete proceeds to choke out Mooney with a novelty noise maker. Pretty standard stuff.
That’s where I’ll leave it tonight, but tune in tomorrow for the “thrilling” conclusion to Killer Klowns From Outer Space! Will Mike and Dave be able to stop the clowns, or will they continue their homicidal mischief and general buffoonery? Will Mike ever learn how cotton candy is made? Do we ever see Deb again? Why did I give you the option of picking this movie? The answers to some of those questions, tomorrow!
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My Rotting Brain 
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